What is Fear?
by RandomPenName
Summary: *UPADATE Ch.23 "Please, Be careful!" - is posted* Our dear boys are captured and are forced to test their abilty to overcome their demons, and their ablity to protect each other. HC and Anst abounds
1. What is your worst fear?

Title: What is Fear?  
Rating:T  
Summery: A simple question : What is fear, and the many answers that follow.  
Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT if I did I wouldn't be working two jobs and living on ramen noodles.  
Comments: Read and Review if I wanted flames I'd start a fire.

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"What is your worst fear, my 'brave' freaks? "

The cold voice echoed in the emptiness around them. How had they gotten here? How did 19 years of training go out the window? They had been fighting, as usual. Not the foot though, the foot they understood. The foot was curel, corrupt and dangerous but at least they understood them. No, this time they were fighting Bishops people or at least they looked like Bishops people.

Short hair, dark glasses and a suit, Mikey had asked how the MIB let them have the day off. It won a few laughs - at first. The fight hadn't seemed anything un expected, they were winning. Each Turtle used their weapons with skill un matched.

Donny had kept his opponents back with his Bo Staff, as he welded it as practiced as any computer software. He used his keen mind to see every move before they made it. He would take a step back to sweep the feet out from one before spinning to nearly take the head off another's shoulders.

Raph was using his usual amount of 'grace' as he used his sai both blade and hilt with out stopping, leaving the MIB impersonators bloodied or worse. Even in his rashness Raph had his head in the game and a well thrown sai kept Mikey from getting a hair cut with a laser rifle.

Leo was totally in control, not that anyone was very surprised with that. Each movement was made with the fluidity that makes a dolphin look cumbersome. The double Katana moved as if they were extensions of his very soul - he never missed.

Mikey was landing as many verbal blows as he was physical. The constant insults, jokes and comments were making their opponents make increasingly stupid mistakes. They were winning. Of all the people Mikey noticed it first. A slight odor almost unnoticed amid all the fighting. It smelled sweet like a cigar as it moved into the air to join the sounds of pain of smell of blood.

Then the lights went out.

When they came to the first thing they noticed was the dull pain through their bodies. It made moving slow and defense nearly impossible. Only, there was nothing to defend against. They first set about finding each other. No one was hurt very badly but all were experiencing that same dull ache. After a few moments of assurances and frustration they began to access their situation.

They were unarmed, in a small room, a very small room. If they stood back to back and extended one arm their hands pressed flush against the wall. There was barely room to sit, let alone lie down. A soft hum that Donny dubbed a white noise generator all but made their fine tuned hearing, useless. The darkness was over whelming and their eyes did not adjust to it.

They sat in silence for several hours, listening to each other breathe. Trying to not comment when they noticed each other's breathing rate increase as frustration and nervousness began to take its toll on their bruised frames, and frightened minds.

_"What is your worst fear, my 'brave' freaks?"_

All four had jumped and moved from a sitting position to a standing one in less time than it took to blink. They said nothing as they felt each other instinctively reach for the weapons that had long sense been removed from them. The laughter from everywhere, and no where assured them that who ever held them captive saw them move and found it funny.

"Who the Hell are you?"

Raph shouted into the darkness, a quiet hand on his wrist from Leo silenced him, for once.

"Why are we being held here?" Leo asked, his voice sounding strong but his brothers they did not miss the smallest tremble in his tones.

"You didn't answer my question my dear little freaks", the faceless voice, cold and sarcastic spat back at them. "What is your worst fear?"

A steeled silence was the only reply they offered. Though Raph felt the slightest pressure to his right as Mikey leaned into him by the smallest degree.

"Aw? Cat got your tongue?" They cold voice echoed again. "Than lets see if you can_ show_ me."

Leo took a deep breath but said nothing, the hand still on Raph's wrist, tightened. Donny spoke softly.

"Why should we answer you, if you won't answer us?" The softness in his tone was not caused by fear it seemed almost relaxed, proof that Donny could act when the role called for it.

"Does that mean you wish to volunteer, _Donatello?_" A snide response came from the darkness.

They all visibly jumped, and Mikey voiced why. "How do you know his name?"

"I know all your names, Michelangelo, and so much more. How's the arm, Raphael, the one you broke when you fell from a sewer run off."

Raphael moved to step forward, though he was met by the same wall that had always been there.

"How did you know about that?!" Raph snarled into silence, he hadn't been more than 7 years old when he broke his arm. Leo's hand moved from his wrist to his upper arm and jerked him back into his place, so they stood again, back to back each facing a different direction.

The faceless voice spilt into laughter at the reaction.

"Don't you know you silly boy ... _you_ told me."

"I aint told you nothin' pal!" Raph spat into the darkness.

The hum got louder and they each felt Raph lurch forward, out from the group, and scream. Raph lay on the ground in a heap, half against the wall, before any could turn to catch him. His body twitching from the after effect of the jolt of energy sent coursing through his body. His breathing was haggard and eyes closed.

"Raph!" Mikey shouted as he felt his older brother lurch forward and heard him scream. Leo had turned to catch him but had not been fast enough. So he settled for pulling Raph from the wall he now leaned face first on and pulled him back to himself. Leo knelt holding Raph trying to, by will of mind, ease the shutters that still wracked his brother's body. 

"Tisk Tisk, " Came the voice and the three conscious turtles glared into darkness. "It was a simple question but since your answer has not been forth coming it would seem other options will need to be taken."

"You want a volunteer you got one!" Snapped Donny, with a dangerous tone that was rarely, if ever heard.

"Very well" Started the voice but he was cut off.

"Like hell. I don't like little boys who can't show their face in a fair fight. You want a volunteer it's me you want, coward!"

"So be it." Echoed the voice in the darkness.

"No, Michelangelo!" Leo Shouted but it was too late as he and Donny both reached for their youngest brother only their hands collided.

Mikey was gone.

"Damnit!" Donny spat hitting the wall that was as it had been, to damn close. Raph made a gurgling sound as another spasm wrecked his body. It was as if even unconscious he knew their four had just dropped a number. The noise was enough to bring back the other two back to him. Leo shifted his weight so Raph leaned more directly against while Leo leaned against the wall giving Raph room to stretch out his legs as best as he could. Donny knelt by him and checked his pulse.

"He'll be ok."  
Donny offered quietly. Leo didn't need to be able to see his brothers face to hear the concern in his voice. The same concern he felt in his heart as he tightened the arm over Raph's chest and reached for Donny's arm. It was a simple touch, no more strong than a mouse, but the strength it offered to the brothers was immense. The ability to know their strength, in having each other was not completely gone.

That hint of calmness vanished as from no where an image appeared before them. From the darkness to a humming gray screen caused their eyes to water at the sudden change in light. The screen blinked then came to life. A MIB look alike smiled at them behind his dark glasses, as he moved from the camera their hearts stopped. There, strapped, to a gurney was Mikey, bruised and bleeding. There was a steady rise and fall to his breathing and he appeared unconscious.

The man approached the unconscious turtle a needle and the brothers watched in horror as the needle pierced his skin, the plunger was pushed and a vile red fluid was pushed into their brothers veins.

Than silences, pure utter silence as both brothers held their breath. Donny noticed it first, the man who had administered the fluid held up three fingers…than two...as the final finger lowered Mikey surged against his restraints and let out a blood curdling scream.

Than the monitor went to black.

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Arent' I awful? and to think this started as a one shot. Comments?


	2. Mikey’s Descent

Authors Notes:

I'm so sorry it's taken so long to drag this out and post but I keep getting distracted! Blame 30 years of shredder that's been my focus but alas I have returned to try and figure out what our beautiful little Mikey sees under that red fluids influence. Please be gentle should our dear boys suffer terrible pains…heh.

Feed the hungry writer?

Disclaimer: I don't own 'um – Wish I did.

Mikey's Descent

CH.2

The floor fell out from under my feet after my threat to the not so nice voices. I don't know how long I fell but the fact that I had time to think "wow I'm still falling" gives me an idea. The ground came out of no where but since I couldn't see anything that was hardly surprising. I hit heels first and heard a sickening crunch. I don't even want to know what snapped.

All of the sudden something struck my beak and I remember tasting blood. After that they came from everywhere at once in the darkness I never saw them coming. The strikes continued even after my shattered knees buckled and I felt the cold floor on the side of my face. Slowly blissful weightlessness over took me as I lost the battle with consciousness.

The sounds of voices were around me as I fluttered about on various happy clouds. Then a slight prick on my arm….

Mikey's Horror

A strong feeling to wake up shook me as I tried to crawl deeper into my blankets. No. Sleep is good. I felt something hit my pillow millimeters from my beak and instinct said it was a good idea to open my eyes. There, consuming my entire line of vision, was a slender blade that connected to an ivory hilt bearing the symbol of the foot. I rolled off the bed onto my feet.

No one.

What the hell?

A glance to the mirror told me I was not harmed nor was my room disturbed in anyway. Well, no more than usual. I heard a soft keening noise from my pillow. Moving to the bed, I looked closer at the slender bladed knife still imbedded at my pillow. Around, the silver edge, a slight rim of red was steadily growing, as the keening became weaker.

Then I saw it: A small orange tail gave a final flick from under my pillow. No. Slowly I withdrew the knife and moved the pillow. I heard a very quiet sob, it didn't occur to me that came from me. On top of my Silver Sentry bed spread in a tangled and bloody mess lay…

Klunk.

I don't know how long I sat there, just holding her. I screamed for my brothers. How this of could happened. While I held her, stroking her red coated fur, it occurred to me. Why hadn't they come? I had called them…screamed their names…nothing.

My legs were jelly as I stood up, still holding Klunk, and made my way down the hall.

The main room was empty.

Master Splinter's room was empty.

Leo's room was empty.

Raphael's room was empty.

Donnie's room was empty.

No TV

No Computer

No candles were burning.

Nothing.

Absloutely barren.

No proof my brothers or father had ever been here.

Gone.

I don't know how long I searched the empty rooms, or how long I screamed even after I lost my voice. Ultimately with my energy spent I collapsed in the middle of the empty room where we practiced for years. Clinging to my beautiful Klunk and screaming for my family.

Alone….I can't survive alone.

So I guess I'll….

Mikey's Doom

END. Three turtles left.

Is Mikey Alive? Is he dead? Is it real, or just real to him?

Look forward to the next Chapter?

Feed the hungry writer.


	3. A haunting Realization

-1Disclaimer: TMNT and all characters there in do not belong to me. I make no money from my stories they are simply a fans way of expression the love of the TMNT world.

-Back in the cell-

Leo sat with his shell against the un-giving wall. His legs which were folded beneath him tingled as the blood flow was somewhat constricted by his weight . Little pricks of stone against his flesh went un noticed while he continued to think. What more was there to do? Raph was still leaning against him, still unresponsive. The weight of his brothers shell against his plastron made breathing a little constricted but he didn't care. It was the most comfortable that he and Donnie could make Raph.

Donnie was standing over his siblings, pacing. If you could call it that. There was little more room to walk, than to step over Raph, then step over him again. He couldn't understand what they were doing, or why they had wanted to discuss their fears. Certainly they had fears, every race did. It just wasn't your typical dinner conversation. Every time he felt himself getting close to an answer the image of Mikey surging against the restraints and that terrible scream…He would rub his hands against his face trying to erase the memory.

Why Mikey?

Leo, would have been terrible to loose but at least he knew Leo could handle himself. Raph would have shoved Mikey aside to take his place…hell, so would Donnie. Not Mikey, it just seemed wrong to loose their laughter so soon in the game.

A gurgle from Raph's still unconscious frame was the first sound in hours.

Had it been hours?

Or had it just felt like hours?

Leo jumped from his own thoughts as the sound echoed around their small cell. He could hear the foot falls of Donnie's come to a halt and turn their way. He was personally rather proud of Donnie. He knew he was no fan of small spaces, not his greatest fear but still something that affected him.

"Raph?"

Leo's voice was soft in the darkness though it strained of hoarseness, making him wonder just how long it had really been.

A second gurgle and he felt his brothers head move against his plastron.

"Easy Raph, You're ok."

The tones from Leo were still soft but lit with a hit of excitement at the prospect of his brother waking up.

Leo heard the dirt shift to his right and knew Donnie had knelt down beside him, a cool hand reaching over his shoulder to touch Raph's clammy face.

The touch seemed to be the calloused needed and Raphael suddenly sat up pushing at those around him as if doing so might gain him room to defend himself.

Leo let him go, he knew the caged animal would lash out first. His hand found Donnie's in a silent order to not touch him.

"Raph, Easy bro. Your alright you took a hell of a hit." Leo's tone was that of a forced calm.

Raphael had managed to get a whopping step and a half away from Leo before meeting the wall. He spun and faced the darkness that held his brothers. The memories flooded back, the fight, the cell…the threat.

Then a terrifying thought, He had only heard Leo's voice.

"Leo?"

Raph's voice was terribly small, the uncommonness of the moment seemed to only be increased by the hot head sounding so scared.

"I'm here, Bro. So is Donnie. Take a breath, You still with us?" Leo asked softly wondering just how long it would take.

Raph slowly slumped against the wall his feet hitting leo's knee, despite the fact his back was on the far wall. The silence between them lasted only a moment.

The moment was nearly tangible as if he expected the rage to follow, Donnie bowed his head.

"Mikey?"

Raph's voice was met with silence as neither brother wanted to admit that while he had been unconscious they had permitted the youngest of them to be taken.

"Where's Mikey, Leo"

Raph's tone held anger but an unmissed amount of concern.

Silence.

"Leo. Where is Mikey?"

Donnie felt himself ache, it was times like this he felt so sorry for Leo, and yet utterly grateful that such questions were diverted to him.

Raph moved, even in the darkness he was on target enough to get in Leo's face. Little more than a step found himself on his knees so close to Leo their knees touched.

"LEO?"

Raph meant to push him, to evoke some sort of response, preceding this however, Leo simply closed his hands over Raph's. Effectively stopping any attack that my have followed.

"They took him."

Quiet and defeated Leo finally answered, he felt the straining against his hands stop completely. Even blind he could feel his brother's stare on him. Raphael's hand slid loose from Leos to fall uselessly in the dirt between them.

No.

Not Mikey.

Donnie took a chance and put his hand on Raph's shoulder, he didn't move away.

"I'm sorry."

Leo said, though the typical leader mantra was not audibly heard (Its my fault) , it was implied.

Raph shook his head, regardless of the fact they couldn't see him.

Perhaps it was the shocks that still sent tiny tremors though his body, or the exhaustion of the fight. What ever the reason, Raph did something next that was utterly un Raph like.

Leo felts Raph's hand come around the back of his neck, he half expected to be strangled. Instead he felt his brother rest his head against his chest, and hold for dear life.

Ok, That did it.

Trapped, hurt, separated, they had experienced it before and could deal with it. However, the day Raph leaned against his chest and cried…they knew something was wrong.

Leo did all he could do. He let his hand fall atop his shell only inches from where Donnie's hand still fell on his shoulder.

"We'll get him back"

Donnie offered uselessly, and his tone implied he knew just how poor it sounded.

Yeah, They'd get him back. One way or another.

Someone was going to pay, and pay hard. Hurting their family is a big mistake, taking out the baby brother may well be fatal.

They would get him back.

Silence eluded between them save the quiet breaths or quieted tears from each respective turtle. They still had each other, they could make it, they would make it.

"_So, touching my brave freaks….Michelangelo is finished….who's next?"_

END 

TBC


	4. The Code of Hammurabi

-1"_So, touching my brave freaks….Michelangelo is finished….who's next?"_

Raphael had jerked away the second he heard the nearly silent cackle before the voice. Leo pushed himself up at once, despite the fact his legs were asleep from having been sitting on them so long. Donnie moved a step back into Leo, while Raph seemed to move away.

Raph didn't cry. Raph Didn't hurt, and yet not five seconds ago he had been crying on his brothers chest.

Something in Raph twisted angrily. He didn't like to appear so weak, it was humiliating. Despite the fact that in later days, if there -were- later days, he would say it was the jolt to his system of the shock, or exhaustion that caused him to revert to age five hiding in Leo's bed from the giant spider in his dreams.

Raphael's step away from Leo and Donnie had been only as far as the wall would permit. He wasn't sure how far it was but he was certain he could still reach behind him and touch his brothers if he wanted. He didn't mind closed spaces, something about the shadows and the darkness comforted him.

At this moment however, even the ninja in him was getting itchy with the closed space.

Leo was holding his breath, peering into the darkness as if expecting sheer force of will to open some magic door. The words of that same voice, dark and malice, echoed off the confining prison.

"_So, touching my brave freaks….Michelangelo is finished….who's next?"_

It was Raph who first found his voice, chalk it up to pride he had to rekindle.

"What do ya mean finished?! Where is my brother."

The possessive tone was not missed among his brothers. -My- brother, not our. Hot head or otherwise, in a fight it was Raph more so than Leo who managed to keep an eye out for his brothers. That isn't to say the others didn't as well, but Raph always seemed to be there first.

The silence echoed back, coldly.

"_I am done with him." _

The answer came back, with as much warmth as a hangman eyeing the convicted mans shoes.

"What do ya me-" Raph was cut off by Donnie, finding his voice and still fighting to find a way to gain some control of their situation.

"Then give him to us. If you don't need him anymore, give him back to us." Despite his best effort desperation fringed on his voice.

Raph and Leo both turned in the general direction of their brother, could that actually work?

The silence hung in the air, save their own erratic heartbeats.

"…_For a price" _came the voice's response after several minutes.

"Name it." Leo spoke for the first time since the voice had re-announced itself. He was hating himself at the moment. He was the leader, he had led them into this fight. HE had chosen all the wrong tactics. HE had been standing there when Raph was hit by that shock. HE had reached for Mikey one second to soon. This was HIS fault…and if they wanted a price he was more then ready to be it.

A static click before the voice spoke again, _" Hammurabi's Code"_

Donnie tensed and Leo was close enough to feel the tension coming off of his brother in waves. Leo knew why.

Raph was silent, Leo knew him well enough to know that it wasn't because he was doing nettle point. Raph opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Leo. He would not loose another brother. Unlike Raph he knew what the comment meant.

"Me."

Laughter.

Cold and uncaring laughter.

"_No." _Came the reply after the speaker had calmed himself.

"_I want your healer before I make the trade."_

Trade.

Now Raph understood. The bastard wanted a body for a body…NO. Not a body a brother for a brother. He refused to think anything so permit as death could have befallen their brother.

"Like hell." Raph and Leo spoke at once, who said they didn't agree on anything?

They unison response seemed to startle both of them as they looked in each others direction. Donnie took this moment to move the few feet to the farthest wall, as close to out of their reach as he could get. He seemed to feel their 'hosts' eyes on him.

Waiting.

Watching.

He knew exactly what he was about to do.

In the silence after the unified stance that he would NOT get Donnie, Donnie's own voice was strong in the silence.

"Agreed."

Before Leo and Raph could turn to reach for their brother only air was in his place. The same stale, fowl air that had always been there.

"Don!" Raph shouted while Leo swung at the nearest wall.

His knuckles struck solid stone hard even to crack his skin and draw blood …

Not that he felt it.

Not that it mattered.

Not that it helped.

Raph and Leo stood alone in their on misery each at the opposite end of there cell. Leo spoke first, his tone more Raph like in its dangerous rage.

"What the Fuck do you want with us?!" He snarled.

Raph actually looked his way from where he was feeling the wall for an opening where Donnie had been standing. He had heard Leo cuss on occasion…but never quiet that much.

The laugher from know where proved they were will being watched.

"Where is our brother? You said you would give him back!" Leo was venomous.

"_And so I have."_

Came that same amused tone.

Raph was about to shout at him, he hadn't given them anything back. What was he talking about? The he heard it. A Sound so tiny it was almost missed.

A whimper.

Leo was quiet….Raph was quiet…Donnie was gone…

"MIKEY!" Both brothers shouted together, seems they -did- agree on some things.

The two eldest converged on the middle point in the room where they found Mikey. He was breathing quickly and erratically. Though they could not see him the smell of blood was hard to miss. Raph reached for him first, a shaking hand would fall with a feather soft touch to where instinct told him his arm should be…

Nothing.

Simply nothing.

His hand it dirt.

"Leo.." The tone from Raph got an immediate reaction. Something was -wrong- , well more -wrong-.

Here things had been looking up.

No wonder they had wanted to take the healer.

Leo's hand was grabbed firmly by Raph and placed on Mikey's shoulder. Leo didn't understand at first, allowing Raph to slide his hand down further until about 4 inches below his shoulder the sweaty texture of his brothers upper arm vanished and was replaced by vacant space.

Leo made a very unusual sound somewhere deep in his throat before reaching up to the spot where his arm should be and repeating it. Hoping the arm would suddenly reappear. No such luck.

His hand slowly touched the skin where he felt tissue and bone but no blood. It had been sealed some how. His arm was gone but he wasn't loosing blood from that area.

About damn time for some good news…

If you could call this good news.


	5. A date with the Devil

-1Thank you for staying with this fic as it has advanced.

As always I don't own any of this.

I make no money.

Ch. Rating T

Fic rathing M

Enjoy!

You learn something BIG in this ch.

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A Date with the Devil

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A sudden brightness blinded him, and Donnie yelped in surprise. He raised his hands to shield his eyes only to find them bound and connected the shackles that held his feet. All he could do was turn his head and squeeze his eyes closed, counting the seconds until whatever was coming, arrived.

Nothing.

Second, after second, he just stood there, blind and bound.

When his brain stopped screaming and the light around him did not seem as blinding,, he opened his eyes as quickly as he dared.

Shapes began to emerge until he found himself standing in a lab.

Machines, wires, vials, bubbling fluid…all the normal points of a lab.

Oh, and about four dozen armed men in suits.

Gulp.

Donnie looked at them, they looked back.

Tick. Tock.

He had no idea just how long he stood there waiting on someone to do something the tension eating away at him.

Hs posture remained still and only his eyes moved.

The waiting was driving him crazy, leaving him to scream in his mind for something to happen.

Of course, when it finally did…He would of given anything to take it back…

"Donatello, we meet again."

The steady whirl of machines seemed to fade out into nothing as an all to familiar voice spoke behind him.

Despite knowing that moving with that many guns aimed at you is never wise, he spun and found himself staring into the cold eyes of the one who was responsible for this.

The one who captured them.

The one who hurt Raphael.

The one who may have killed Mikey.

The one who now had him at his mercy.

The one man he respected for his genius and hated for his malice bigotry.

_Agent Bishop._

Agent Bishop stood with his hands clasped behind his back at parade rest. His posture relaxed and the image of ease. A smug smirk poised on thin lips and eyes shielded behind tinted glasses.

"Now before you go into your patter of questions, knowing full well I won't answer them. I pose an option to you" came the cold tone.

_That _cold tone.

How had they missed it in the room?

Looking at him now Donnie's mouth was agape.

What could he say.

Finally Donnie closed his jaw and nodded.

He had no idea of his brother's health but for some reason he was being granted a one on one with their captor. A stupid attempt at escape would only end in disaster, so for now he played along.

Agent Bishop smiled.

"Good, I thought perhaps you would listen."

A brief stare down signaled that Donnie was going to in fact remain silent. This fact assured the agent now spoke.

"Your brother did not choose to cooperate, and for that reason I could only use elements of him. You see what I need from you is best given in a conscious state."

Donnie swallowed. He remembered how beaten Mikey had looked on the gurney. He had been hurt badly. So what ever this bastard wanted, Donnie would have to be awake.

Peachy.

Taking a breath Donnie spoke for the first time, the visible jump in the room signaled that some did not expect he could talk.

"I understand, but I want assurances."

Bishops eyebrow rose just slightly.

"You are in no position to-"

Taking a chance, Donnie cut him off.

"Agreed, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm more then willing to do something stupid that will get me killed by one of your trigger happy commandos. If it keeps your greedily little hands off something you want from me."

Bishop's eyebrow rose to his hair line, before settling down into the typical scowl. He seemed to be debating on something.

"What is it you wish?"

The cold tone made it clear it was unlikely he would get any thing he demanded, but at least he was bargaining.

"Two things. I want to see my brothers. I traded for Mikey, let me see them together. Second, tell me what you want, what is all this for. If this is going to hurt, and possibly worse I think I have that right."

Donnie debated on demanding the safety of his brothers, but he didn't want to risk loosing what ever leverage he had managed to obtain. He hoped if he could understand -why- they were here, then perhaps he could reason a way out.

The silence stretched between them as Bishop debated and Donnie held his breath.

Finally Bishop spoke, "I will give you this …"

Donnie looked surprised.

"If you agree to do as I say with out question."

Donnie frowned, that didn't surprise him.

"You must consent to obey my every order with out question, or I will kill you."

Duh. Donnie thought

"And your brothers."

Donnie sobered.

"And I will hunt down your father and friends for the aggravation you caused me."

Game. Set. Match.

Donnie nodded.

Bishop would nod and a similar image to what they had seen in the cell appeared from his gauntlet.

The room was darkened but all kept a green tint: night vision.

Donnie whimpered. He could see two shapes cradling a third.

Mikey.

Oh, God Mikey.

The night vision did little to tell if that last shape was alive…or dead.

Donnie opened his mouth to question but Bishop shook his finger at him.

"No, No…our terms were agreed to."

Donnie bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying something that would only hurt their situation.

Bishop seemed pleased.

"So well trained."

Donnie felt sick.

"Now for what you really wanted to know…just why you are here…"

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See I did write more!

I'm flitting between this and Random Ramblings updating one on Tuesdays and one on Saturday if I can help it.

Hope you all are surprised to find out just who are villain was.

Thanks so much for reading!


	6. A Wave Farewell

Disclaimer: I Don't own any of this.

Chapter summery: We get to find out just why all this has had to happen to our dear boys

Chapter rating: T

Fiction rating:

"Now for what you really wanted to know…just why you are here…"

Donnie was nudged by something from behind; a glance would clarify just what it was. Ah, a rifle. Got to love the military.

Always so subtle.

He took the hint and began to move down the corridor to a more secluded portion of the lab, Agent Bishop at his side.

After a moment, Bishop continued.

"As is painfully clear to any simpleton, you and your brothers are…unique."

Donnie didn't even look his way.

Duh, next please?

Bishop motioned to a metal chair with a grouping of very angry chains and wires connected to it.

Joy.

Oh, Bishop was still talking, yet Donnie's eyes never left that chair, even as it was indicated that he should sit in it.

"Adrenaline is a hormone that is secreted by the adrenal gland. It has been known to give frantic mothers the ability to lift automobiles off of children who are pinned."

Donnie flinched inadvertently as the cold metal connected with his own flesh. He may be cold blooded but he was far warmer then the uncaring metal he now sat upon. He watched Bishop carefully. He knew Donnie's understanding of science, why was he showing off?

Or was he simply buying time?

His wrists were unshackled if only long enough to bind them tightly to the arms of the chair. A steady whirl of armed weapons kept any attempt at bay. His eyes still locked on Bishop as he felt his legs given the same treatment as his writs.

"Such a sudden burst of energy would prove effective if not priceless in certain situations."

Like war games.

Why not just come out and say it?

"With such unique attributes your brother's adrenaline has proved 129 more powerful than that of a typical human. All while he was unconscious. Now you can see the importance of your consciousness in the tests that follow"

Donnie's eyes moved from Bishop for the first time, toward a young man.

He looked like he tried to emulate every micro movement that was natural to Bishop.

Oh, a fan boy.

Delightful.

It wasn't the boy who attracted his attention, rather what he carried in his right hand. A injection syringe and the same vile fluid that he had seen forced into his brother's veins. Despite himself he tired the restraint on his right arm. The whirl of weapons climbed and Bishop spoke.

"I would not try that, your brother did."

Donnie's eyes cut to Bishop.

Mikey.

"Your brother actually managed to land an attack."

Donnie grinned, go Mikey!

As the man got closer he could see a nasty bruise on his cheek.

"Of course, I couldn't permit him to keep the arm after he did so."

Donnie's heart stopped, his eyes toward a gurney that Bishop motioned toward. What ever was on it was covered, but it was stained red. It was to small to be a body, but…

Bishop spoke again.

"Of course, the best way to obtain such an intense burst of adrenaline is…fear. Mr. Thompson."

A sharp point of pain in his upper arm and Donnie yelped, his eyes had been on the gurney, he had not seem Thompson get so close.

It was suddenly very hard to breath as his pulse screamed in his ears. Donnie lashed out against the restraints but the movements were not of his own choice. His body was trying to escape the pain that now surged through his tired body.

Bishop was smirking as he approached the gurney he had been watching.

The drug took effect and the gray began to cloud his vision, despite his efforts to cling to his surroundings.

Just before he was engulfed by pain and darkness Donnie could see Bishop pick up something…

While Bishop chided.

"Say goodbye to your brother, Michelangelo"

And he could of sworn he saw Mikey's hand wave to him

Sorry it took so long to get around to Donnie's fear but we will find out his greatest fear in the coming chapters.

What do you think of Bishop using the Turtles adrenaline to harness a new drug for his super soldiers?

Believable?

I hope so.

Thanks for everyone who has reviewed.


	7. Donatello's Devastation

A/N: Well I finally got around to Donnie's fear. It took some thinking and I do feel this would be his greatest fear. I have also had a second thought. I had such fun writing this chapter and with the what ifs that came from doing so …. Would anyone be interested in this chapter being a first chapter in a story about this situation?

Ch Rating: M – For some not so nice language, emotional themes and Character death

Ch Summery: Donnie's greatest fear is revealed in a heart stopping drug induced vision of reality.

Fic Rating: M for all the above and then some.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, or anything connected there in. I make no money from my writings. This is just one fans way of expressing a true love for the show.

That out of the way…. On with the show.

Donnie's Dream

Fear

The sounds of an early morning news program flitted from the den and into the kitchen where four brothers and their father sat around a table enjoying a Christmas morning breakfast. They were all in high spirits sharing stories and jokes mixed with laughter which seemed to take on the form of a tangible blanket of warmth over every heart. They were currently discussing the best time to open the many gifts, which waited in the den.

"No time like the present, for presents!" Mikey offered intelligently.

A good-natured pop on the head turned into a noogie by Raph. Leo and Donnie laughed as their brother struggled half heartily, all over seen by the smiling eyes of Master Splinter. The fight was forgotten when Splinter rose, absently rubbing his arm. The training the night before had been strenuous for all of them.

"My Sons, It is time for gifts."

Plates abandoned and forgotten on the table as a blur of green surged from the kitchen and into the den. Splinter smiled, moving slowly (he was not as young as he once was) as he made his way into the den. By the time he reached the den all the gifts had been separated and each turtle watched him, waiting to be told to begin.

Slowly Splinter sat down in his chair, hiding a wince rather well. The chair was old and worn but he adored it and would not see it replaced despite his sons attempt to do so. He smiled as his sons watched him like… well like kids at Christmas.

"Wait my sons."

They looked deflated but did as he asked, waiting as he retrieved something from his robe. It was small and wrapped in plain brown paper. Slowly, he extended it out toward them. As Leo moved to take the parcel a strangled sound of pain slopped past their masters defenses. Splints hand gripped his own upper arm and in doing so the gift slipped from his fingers.

The gift was forgotten, the turtles moved forward as one to their father's side.

"No!" Splinter raised his hand, halting them.

"No, My sons… I am fine… See to you gift."

The turtles exchanged mutually helpless glances but bent to his will as Leo stopped down and retrieved the parcel. His brothers gathered around him and together they opened it. A soft murmur was emitted from all at its contents. Each continued to cast worried looks at their sensei that seemed to be using all he knew to conceal from them the waves of pain that danced across his aged features. His hand moved to his chest.

"Master, Please-" Donnie started.

He had yet to look at the present, his eyes remained on his father. Something was very wrong.

"My … son- … your _gift_." His master struggled to redirect his attention.

Finally Donnie turned, "Wow".

It was leather bound photo album containing pictures of them at various stages of development.

The cover contained a picture of all five of them, it must have been the first day they used the old camera Splinter had found. They were three at most.

Another of Donnie and Mikey coloring around age five.

Leo and Raphael curled up together cowering from some scary movie on the T.V. around seven.

There were easily 300 pictures to be stared at after all the gifts were opened, for now only time for skimming would be allotted. The final picture contained the picture taken just before breakfast on that day. Splinter stood in the middle of his sons. Leo and Raphael on either side, each with a hand on his shoulder. Mikey and Donny were on the opposite side of their brothers, each with their arms around their brother. Everyone was laughing, above splinters head was the sign on the wall that had been with them for as long as they could remember: Sewer Sweet Sewer. Under the picture in what was normally a very pristine print, but now was slanted and shaking: Their Master's handwriting.

_My Sons, you are my family and I am yours._

_With one portion gone, we are un whole but we remain family._

_Family, Memories, and thoughts of the future can fill that void._

_You all have made me so very proud._

_Be strong for each other._

_I love you._

_Father._

The concerned murmurs and background noise of the TV faded into silence as they all puzzled over the inscription on the last page. Leonardo was the first to turn to their master for an explanation. His mouth became agape and he reached for Donnie. A urgent pull that nearly pulled Donnie off his feet caused him to look at Leo. He followed his gaze and cried out when he saw what his brother saw.

Master Splinter was still sitting in his old chair. His face turned and his eyes still watching the gathering of his sons. His muzzle wore a grim smile, as though he forced the pain aside for a last look at happiness. The walking stick was still cradled in his hand but there was no tightness to his grip. There was no movement from their master's body. No blinking, his eyes remained on them as if a sign of eternally watching over them. His hands were still with no sign of the tremors they had been noticing for weeks. His chest lay still, evidence to no breath nor heartbeat.

"Master Splinter!" Mikey found his voice first.

"Don!" Raph was behind Don and shoved him forward.

Something in Don's brain snapped when he was shoved forward. He reached their master his hands searching amid the gray fur on his neck for a pulse.

Nothing.

Heartbeat?

Nothing.

Respiration?

Nothing.

Donnie's hands trembled while his brothers hovered around him.

"Donnie do something!" Mikey nearly screamed at him, despite being held back by Raphael.

"Help me get him on the floor." Donnie shouted at Leo.

Together they moved him to the floor, Leo moved back almost at once. Leaving Donnie to work some miracle to bring him back.

Donnie's hand found his breastbone and began compressions. He had to be careful, his father was old and much smaller than he was, he could do as much harm as good if he wasn't careful. His own heart was racing.

"Don Fix this!" Leo was shouting.

Donnie began the breaths trying in vein to ignore just how cold he felt. He should not be this cold, this soon. How cold had he been earlier? Why didn't he tell them?

Back to compressions, he went his body tense from fear and panic only adding to the strain of CPR. All around him he could hear them shouting.

"Donnie, Please!" Mikey's voice was high and fearful, now more clinging to Raph then being held back by him.

"Don, Do something" Raph shouted over the roar of Donnie's heart.

"Donatello, Save him." Leo begged.

Breath again, his own lungs burned, his blood roared in his ears. Why didn't they help? Why was it all on him?

"Donnie, Don't let him die!" Mikey was screaming now, how long had it been?

"Donnie, please, do something." Raph was crying.

"Donnie!" Leo's composer was gone, his voice raising by the second.

Compressions, his back and arms were burning. How did they expect him to fix this? He was old, very old in human standards, ancient in rats. He was not God. Why did they expect him to cure what no scientist could? Old age.

"Donnie!" Leo.

"Don!" Raph

"Donnie!" Mikey

Breaths. Their master knew this was coming, he understood. That was made clear in the passage in the album and the album it's self. That didn't change that he had found the one thing he couldn't fix. Death.

"Please Don!" Raph.

"Donnie, We need him!" Leo.

"Donnie, don't let our father die!" Mikey

Compressions. Donatello, the "turtle with a big brain", "brainiac", "know it all", "bookworm. He could turn a toaster into a nuclear fusion device. What good was that now. All the time he spent in his lab learning was time he spent away from his father. Time he took to learn, to learn things that when he needed them the most, were useless.

Breaths. Useless, that's what he was. As his arms, back, and lungs burned, and his brain and heart screamed…he was useless. Under cramping hands, his master remained just as still as he had always been. Just as dead as he was.

"Donnie!"

"Don!"

"Donnie!" 

Compression. Their screams echoed in his brain joining with his own self-hatred. What good was he? All he had learned was useless. All his effort to learn and test things was utterly pointless.

Pointless…

Useless…

His Master was dead.

No.

His Father was dead.

His brothers looked to him to save their father.

To protect him, and he had protected them their entire lives.

What did Donatello do?

Failed.

He had killed their father.

His father.

Now all he wanted to do…was join him.

Donnie's arms gave out and with a sob he collapsed atop the body of his father, pleading forgiveness though uneven breaths and burning lungs. As to be expected…his father remained silent.

Well at least that's this writers interpretation of what would be Donnie's greatest fear. Conquering everything but unable to save those you love.

Thanks to all who have read.

This chapter took a lot out of me writing, I really hope you all saw that and enjoyed.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed I'll be updating my thanks to reviews shortly.


	8. For the Young

-1Back in the cell

Sleep had finally claimed the two conscious turtles in the small, dark hole that had been there home for…days?

It certainly felt like it. Only once had someone gained access to their cell for a purpose other than to claim or return a brother. They never even noticed. It wasn't until Raph stood to pace that he nearly tripped over a luke-warm bottle of water.

No telling how long it had been there.

Neither Leo or Raph drank and both were to tired to try and argue with the other until they drank.

Mikey was being cradled by Leo much like Raph had been. With each others help they had managed to get a few precious sips of water into their baby brother who had yet to awaken.

That had been hours ago. Now they could only try and guess how long Donnie had been missing. The closest they could come was a terrifying eighteen hours.

Exhaustion and fear took their toll and despite their best efforts eventually both brothers fell asleep. Leo was still cradling Mikey while Raph sat to Leo's right, touching just enough to be certain they were both still there.

And so they slept

Their sleep was shattered by a scream.

Before Leo could fully shake the fog that had settled over his mind he was jerked fully into consciousness by an elbow to his jaw, in Mikey's feeble attempt to escape him.

Mikey scrambled away as quickly as his injuries would allow. The darkness seemed to only make it easier to notice the unevenness of each breath escaping the youngest. A loud crack echoed around their enclosure as Mikey's shell struck stone and he cried out.

"Mikey, Take it easy. Your with us" Raph spoke urgently giving his older brother a chance to get his jaw working.

"Mikey, you're safe." Leo's tone was a forced calm.

There was a long moment of silence where only the heart breaking sound of broken nails on a wall could be heard. As Mikey struggled to climb out of the place he now found himself.

After a few moments even that noise stopped and silence fell between them.

For a terrifying moment Leo worried they had taken his brother again.

Then from the silence a crying Mikey whimpered softly.

"Raph?…Leo?"

Leo felt the closest thing he had to a smile since this hell had begun.

"Yeah Mikey, we're here"

Silence

Then in a tone of heart wrenching rage Mikey screamed:

"WHERE WERE YOU?!"

Both red and blue banded brothers flinched as Mikey's tirade continued.

"I SCREAMED FOR YOU!

YOU LEFT ME!

WHERE WERE YOU?

I NEEDED YOU!

HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THAT!?"

Leo bowed his head vaguely aware that Raph was moving away from him and toward Mikey. His heart stung. His baby brother was doing little more then voicing the same damnations on him that he had been giving himself.

"I SCREAMED FOR YOU!"

Mikey swung in their general direction. Raph was close enough and captured his fist a steel grip. Mikey's shouts of rage turned into a strangled scream of pain when he tried to swing his other arm.

A wave of pain crashed down upon him. Every injury that fear and anger had been concealing flashed to light in bright neon's and Mikey crumbled forward, against Raph, only able to whimper.

Leo moved in finally. His hand falling softly on the shoulder of his youngest brother.

"Easy Michelangelo. It was just a dream. We have you…your safe"

Leo hated himself, he knew it wasn't 'just a dream'. One look or even one touch in a blind prison and he knew it was not just a dream. He was beaten, blooded, his legs were swollen he wasn't even sure that they weren't broken. Not to mention he was lacking an arm.

Raph moved him carefully so that he sat back against the wall. He moved away to find the water bottle only to feel his wrist being snared and held with a vise grip by Mikey.

"Don't Leave!"

Mikey breathed in urgency, despite his pain.

"Easy Bro, I'm just getting something." Raph assured him.

He was used to Mikey being an annoying tag along but this was something different. He could feel Leo pull Mikey's hand off his wrist. By the grunt from Leo it hadn't been an easy task. As soon as Leo had Mikey's hand off Raph's wrist he quickly took his hand moving beside Mikey while Raph went to find what he needed.

Raph hesitated his eyes watching the darkness that held his brother, both figuratively and literally. He still couldn't fathom their care free brother so terrified. Mikey had never liked being alone and even now he would occasionally crash in Raph's room when he was out. Some grinning excuse that was never really needed. Mikey had his own room and often slept there, but it was not uncommon to find him with one of his other brothers or even napping on the mat behind his sensei. No one questioned it. That was just Mikey.

He could still hear Leo talking to him and Mikey whimpering if he moved just the slightest.

What had those bastards done to him?

After a few blind grabs Raph located the water bottle and passed it to Leo's free hand

"Drink this Mikey. Only a little. We don't know when we'll get more." Leo's tones were soft.

So far Mikey hadn't taken a full awareness to his injuries or the lack of Donnie. He had no intention of bringing either to Mikey's focus.

Hope was all they had. He wouldn't take Mikey's from him so soon.

Raph gently tugged the water away from Mikey after several gulps.

"Go slow Mike." He cautioned.

There was a pause before Mikey spoke, his voice still not his own but some what closer then it had been.

"You guys need some too." Mikey informed Raph.

Leo's eyes turned to where Raph was hidden by darkness. He could hear Raph tip the bottle back but never heard him swallow.

Alright Little brother, least we're on the same page.

Raph passed Leo the bottle. Dispute the cotton mouth that coated his throat and tongue he mimicked his brother. Leo tilted the water up using his tongue to block any water from escaping. He lowered the bottle and secured the cap. Making sure to make a swallowing noise for merit.

The silence fell between them, Mikey's steel grip on his hand relaxed, and he could feel Mikey lean completely on Raph, so that his head fell on his shoulder.

Another several minutes, they both had to be sure.

Raph spoke first. "He's asleep"

Leo nodded in the darkness tilting his head and making sure the deepener breathing had not changed and there was no eves dropping going on before responding.

"Yes."

A long moment stretched again both picked their own spot in the darkness to stare at.

"Leo?" Raph spoke softly.

"Yes." Leo's voice sounded pained.

"We have to get them out of here." The desperation was not missed and Leo closed his eyes. It was a bold move and any other time he was certain the move would be rejected. For now however, he tired. He reached across Mikey and found Raphs hand on instinct. He waited for his brother to pull away. He didn't.

"We'll get them out."

Was all Leo said, and despite the fact they had Mikey back, he was finding it harder and harder to believe.

-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

End

TBC

Thanks for reading!

Feed the hungry writer

Thanks to all who have reviewed


	9. Together Again

-1Please forgive me, the flu season is among us and I am a teacher. Surprise, surprise...I have it. Bear with me I'm trying to keep updating.

RandomPenName

--------------------------''''''''''''''-------------------------

A blinding light flooded into the darkened cell for the first time in over a week. As best as their (faulty) internal clocks could determine it had been at least three days since Donnie had been taken and Mikey returned. Brining their confinement to a pain filled one week and four days.

Never had time traveled so slowly.

Their captors had finally decided to be gracious enough to toss a few pieces of bread into their cell. It had been as the same as the water bottle. Just appearing and only in enough to barely keep them alive.

Mikey had become increasingly quiet and as neither Raphael nor Leonardo were big talkers much of their time was spent simply sitting in silence. The occasional touch from one to the other was often the only reassurance that they remained together.

In the moment before the blinding light flooded into their hell Leo was helping Mikey eat the 3rd to last piece of bread. They were saving the final two slices and 1/5th of the water bottle for when Donnine returned. They refused to speak their concerns aloud but after nearly four days...they weren't sure he would be back. Even Leo and Raph had been forced to eat and drink a little, after Leo blacked out from dehydration.

When their darkness was shattered Mikey fell forward into Leo, a strangled scream as he struggled to cover his eyes with his missing arm. Leo what he could to cover his brother from the light. He had been facing the door(?) when it opened and now he was utterly blind. Despite his best effort to force his own eyes open Leo found himself unable to do so...the pain blinded him. Raphael had been napping facing the far wall when the light had invaded. He coiled up out of instinct and shielded his eyes with his arms.

As soon as the light appeared it was gone and darkness settled around them once more.

All was silence except the timid whimpering from Mikey as he cradled what was left from his arm. Leo moved off of him slowly his hands still gently rubbing circles on his brothers shell.

"Easy Mikey, Its over" Leonardo's tones were very strained from lack of use.

Raph rolled onto his hands and knees before sitting up guardedly

"Everyone alright?" Raph's voice joined Leo's in the silence.

"We are ok Raph, he just hurt his arm." Leo said softly still trying to quiet his whimpering brother.

"What the hell was that about?" Raph's voice was course than usual as he crawled to join his brothers

"I don't know for a second it seemed like there was a door."

He didn't need to say go check it out, he could already hear Raph moving toward it.

The sound of Raph patting the walls could be heard as Mikey's keening finally came to a stop.

"Nothin'" Raph muttered.

Leo wasn't surprised he just nodded and helped Mikey slowly sit up.

"Get back over here by us." Leo ordered

Raph would have said something any other day, any other place. But for now when weird shit happened he wanted to be as close to his family as he could be.

"Leo I'm so hungry..."Mikey whimpered.

Raph could nearly feel his brother weince.

"We all are Mikey but we have to save what we have for when Don gets back."

Mikey grew silent again, leaning against the cold un giving wall, what else was there to do. Raph gathered their supplies and brought them back to Leo. With invisible openings the last thing they needed was to have their life line gone. Time passed between them and silence fell.

Mhm.

Leo stirred hearing the sound. Mikey had shifted and was now using Raph's shoulder for a pillow. He was sleeping and for once no dreams had caused him to stir. Leo forced himself into greater awakenings. Sitting up off the wall, ignoring the jolts of pain that coursed through his body. A small sound of stone of shell told him Raph was awake.

Hmhm.

Leo rubbed his face with callused hands.

"Ra-" Leo started.

"Not me." Raph cut him off.

"M-Ma- … Me." Came a voice from the side of their cage.

Silence.

"Don!" Raphael's throat felt like it would tear when he spoke louder then he should have, he could care less.

As Raphael was pinned under Mikey Leo moved towards the noise. Not as though it was very far to move, their whole was as small as ever. When he reached Donnie he would find him sitting up.

"Don, take it easy."

"Leo I'm fine .Just-" His tones were slurred like he was just waking up.

"Don let me make sure you are ok. Just hold still" Knowing the condition Mikey came back to them Leo was more then a little concerned and would not be pushed away by his brothers hands. No blood, not enough to be concerned about...his nose had dried blood but nothing life threatening.

What ever drug was bounding around his veins was slowly fading away and Donnie tried to speak again.

"Leo. I'm alright. I promise. " His hand fell quietly on his brothers trembling hands.

"How's Mikey?" He diverted his attentions almost at once and Leo fell silent.

"Leo? " Dons tone became littered with fear.

"He's alright Don." Raph spoke where his brother lacked the ability. "He's hurt but he's alive. What happened to you?"

"How badly hurt is he?" Don moved the attention again away from himself and back to the youngest.

"Bad. But he's been eatin' and drinkin'. Right now he's asleep. "

Leo nodded in the darkness at his brothers words, despite he knew he couldn't be seen.

Don was moving to stand and pulling an unsteady Leo along with him until they nearly tripped over Mikey and Raph. Don knelt, his hands moving over Mikey making mental notes of his sleeping brothers injuries. He was vaguely aware that Leo was doing the same thing to himself.

"Leo. I said I'm not hurt, they didn't lay a hand on me." and despite the shutter that escaped Don at the mention of 'them' Leo could find no proof of any other injury.

"Thank god." Leo spoke softly, his hands finally stilling and coming to rest in his lap. Content finally that nothing was wrong with Don.

Raph spoke finally as he forced the water into Don's hand. "Then what happened?"

Don emptied the bottle and at once regretted it. "Sorry." Don muttered.

"Don't worry about it bro, we've had our share." He passed him the bread but Don only ate one piece, despite the hunger in his belly.

"Don." Leo spoke. "What did you learn?"

Their was silence for a moment as another shiver caused Don to drop the empty bottle. No one said anything, and he was grateful. As the final bit of the shutter finally finished Don spoke through clinched teeth.

"Bishop."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does it look so far? Sorry Flu season is upon us and I have it. Bear with me.

Thanks for reading!


	10. The UnThinkable

Well what do you know, I am alive after all

Well what do you know, I am alive after all. Sorry for the delay but I am back writing regularly so I hope you enjoy this. I finished random ramblings yesterday and here is another chapter for you. I hope you enjoy this!

--

The darkness seemed to swallow the four brothers both literally and spiritually as time ached on. They had divided the last piece of bread four ways two days after Don had returned and now hours later it barely touched their hunger.

Mikey was nestled against Donatello, with him being gone so very long Mikey had feared he would never see his brother again. Now all the more he wanted to be close to his purple banded brother.

Raphael sat with his shell against the solid wall, for a turtle who had never liked the prospect of being caged the touch of the wall kept him grounded. It helped him focus on something other then the fear and dread which had steadily creeping up his inside.

Donnie was drifting between slumber and wakefulness, but with the darkness around them who could tell?

Mikey whimpered in his sleep and Donnie absently let his hand fall to his shoulder and Mikey grew quiet once more.

"Raphael?" Donnie spoke quietly in the shadows. It was an occasional occurrence in the murky room, one or the other would simply call out to make sure everyone was present.

"Right here Don." Raphael offered quietly from near by.

Now it was Raph's turn, "Mikey?"

There was a second of silence and Raph felt his heart rise to his throat.

"Mikey?" He tried again, this time it was Don who answered.

"He's here, asleep but here."

Raphael relaxed and settled back against the stone wall. Having lost him once he feared what shape he would return in should be taken once more.

"Leo."

…

"Leo."

…

"Leo."

…

"LEO!"

Raphael's throat burned when his voice raised and he could hear Mikey's yelp as he jumped out of what ever dream he was currently in.

The hot blooded second oldest struggled to push his way to his feet. His legs were weakened from lack of use. In their tiny cell it was often easier to scoot or crawl to where you needed to go. The ever present wall was for the slightest second a welcome as he gripped its un-giving surface to keep his balance. The fast stance had cause blood to rush to his head.

Donnie was trying to calm Mikey who was awake and quickly approaching panicked.

"Who? Who'd they take?!" Mikey's voice was little more then a whimper.

Raphael stumbled across the concrete floor which had caused sores on his brothers and himself over the pass two weeks. His hands continued to search in front and to the sides desperately hoping to grasp his brother.

He's only sleeping, that's it, just to tired to answer.

Raph tried to rationalize…rationalize?

In this place?

There was nothing about this place that was rational.

Rapahel cried out has he went head first into the stone wall on the other side of the cell.

No.

Now on his knees he began to crawl, feeling helplessly around the cell and his brothers for any sign of their leader.

Maybe they could get out of this alive with out Mikey, Donnie or himself.

It was a grim prospect but still a possible one.

But get out of this with out Leo?

Never.

His hands found Mikey's foot in their frantic searching and despite the pain he could hear from his little brother he felt his own arm grabbed. Mikey had made himself sit up enough to reach him.

With the tone of utter desperation Mikey repeated his question.

"WHO!?"

Utterly grounded by the solid grip on his arm Raph found himself unable to answer. His throat and eyes burned and panic swelled in his heart.

Something cold touched his free hand and he jumped. After a few seconds to collect himself he reached out again.

A water bottle.

A cold, nearly frozen water bottle.

They had only just taken him, if he had been a little faster to check…

Raphael sat down solidly he was utterly numb, body and soul.

A strangled sound came from Donnie. It was just like his dream, he couldn't save them.

Mikey knew, he hurt and ached and he knew. Donnie was to his right and he still gripped Raphael.

Leo.

He tightened his grip on his brothers.

No it wouldn't be like this, it couldn't be just like Bishop had shown him.

He was becoming alone….entirely and heartbrokenly alone.

Raphael swung at the wall. He heard the crunch and felt his skin tear but it didn't hurt.

Nothing could touch the pain he felt.

Not even Bishops nightmare hurt this much.

For the first time in their two weeks of hell a solid weight of hopelessness fell among the three remaining brothers and even the darkness seemed darker.

They had lost their hope, their leader and more so their brother.

--

Sorry it took so long doing a 16 week class in 8 weeks is never easy.

Thanks to all who have read!

-RandomPenName


	11. Oblivion

A sickening silence had fallen over the captive in the hours following the banishment of their eldest. Even the quiet calling of names had stopped a fact that unnerved each turtle. Yet, none felt the ability to call out for fear of not hearing a reply again.

The Darkness felt heavy, thick and a little sour in their lunges. Though no one voiced the realization, they all felt it in their very souls.

The loss of hope.

The soft inhales of their neighbors were the only way of knowing they were not alone. Even in the confined hell they found a way not to touch. It killed them, it absolutely killed them. They had hurt when each brother was taken, they had died a little more with each fear they had revealed. Still, they had always clung to hope that they would get out, either by their own means or the aid of some outsider.

Not now.

Funny, aside from speaking occasionally it wasn't as though Leo had been all that helpful. Perhaps it was just the knowledge that the one who kept them together – was still apart of them.

Not now.

Mikey coughed roughly for several minutes until he was able to use enough saliva to wet his parched throat. He wasn't sure he could speak if he wanted to, it just hurt too badly.

Donnie closed his eyes at the sound, yep…just another thing he couldn't fix. For a horrible second he thought to himself that Bishop hadn't been mistaken. A shutter sent his shell hard against the solid rock face.

No, he couldn't think like that.

Never.

And yet as he stilled himself he felt the thought creep in again.

Raph's mind was cloudy, lost to his own worst demons. He didn't need a drug to show it to him, he was living it. For all his strength and stamina…he was unable to protect his family.

A slight hissing sound was emitted over head, at first each wrote it off as the other wheezing; until the air began to have a very recognizable smell.

It was a sweet odor, but very unwelcome…they had smelled it before.

"Hold you're Bre-" Raph's warning was cut short as he slumped backwards against the stone, his mind functioning just enough to hear the other two fall as well.

A blinding light flooded into the room and pooled around their un moving bodies.

The last thing they would hear before sweet oblivion claimed them was..



"They are useless, _he_ is all we will need. "

"Whatcha want us to do with them boss?"

"Dispose of them."


	12. Bittersweet

It is a horrid feeling.

Waking up with your lungs full of frigid and fowl tasting water. Yet, that was where he found himself. He choked and took a ragged breath which only succeeded in refilling his lungs. His body burned from having done so little motion over the weeks in hell.

Yet he struggled to remember how to do something he had known from birth.

Swim.

He brought one arm over his head and then the other in a direction he could only hope was up.

He was too disoriented to be sure.

His legs finally bowed to his oxygen stricken brain and kicked.

Arm…arm…leg…leg…

Oh his body burned, but not nearly as much as his lungs. It was that thought that kept him swimming. His eyes were closed tight after all he had seen, or rather not seen, he was scared to venture and see what new hell he was in.

Even behind closed lids the grey light fed in from the gloom.

Arm…arm…leg…leg…

He could feel his head swimming and felt the encroaching darkness.

His hand broke the water surface just as the darkness engulfed him and he felt himself sink back into it's murky depths.

So…close.

Something firm and untiring took a solid hold on the wafting hand and jerked him forcefully upward. The light was blinding and he would have screamed if he were not coughing up roves of fluid from the stench filled river.

River?

He could feel a hand on his shoulder as he lay on his hands and knees trying to breathe and block the light at the same time. He hurt. Each and every muscle cursed him, his lungs and eyes contemned him but he could not help himself…

Slowly, and very carefully he opened his eyes. Keeping one hand to shield them from the light he looked around.

He blinked.

For the longest time he wanted to close his eyes and go back into the water. This had to be the worst scheme Bishop had ever pulled. Around him he saw the river, and the building of the city.

False hope.

He looked upward to curse the offending light only to find there were no cold florescent beams. It was the sun. Constant and pure.

Bishop couldn't fake that.

….

Bishop couldn't fake that!

Raph's eyes moved from the beautiful body of hope above him to survey his rescuer.

Donnie's hand moved from his shoulder when he was certain Raphael had finished hacking. He smiled very warily as his brother rode the same rollercoaster of emotions as he had. A glint to his eyes and Donnie could tell he had reached the same conclusion.

Raph and Donnie turned to look at Mikey who was gripping his shoulder leaning against the support pillar of the dock. He was unconscious but the steady raise and fall of his chest told both the elders he was breathing.

Donnie jumped when Raphael's hand fell on his arm.

Neither voiced their thought, but the look said it all.

They were free.

For all the jubilation that should have come from this occasion it was hallow.

Even with the apparent freedom of the three youngest sons of Splinter…the obvious lack of their leader made it … painful.

Donnie slowly forced himself to his feet and helped to haul Raphael along with him.

In silence they moved and despite their own exhaustion and starvation they gingerly managed to hoist Mikey and head for home…

If only to plan to retrieve their brother.

--

Thanks so much for all the reviews! It keeps me writing!


	13. Home

He had dreamt of this moment every second of their captivity.

Their first taste of freedom…

He had envisioned laughter, frantic talking, all interlaced with embraces and tears. Yet that was not case. Raphael had Mikey's remaining arm over his shoulder and held him by his shell. Donnie moved beside him, supporting him when Raph's strength faltered.

Donnie had never thought he would wish for the darkness but having gotten his first glimpse of Mikey's metal affixed shoulder…he did. He would fuss more when they were home, safe.

Home…Safe..

Two words which would never be stated with the same ease again.

Mikey had awoke somewhere about ½ block from the sewer entrance and had helped Raphael by moving his feet. They were all dragging but they could contend with the aches and the pain. They had no walls and no dreams, it was more than a fair trade.

They continued on in silence, stopping when one or the other fell and was forced to rest. When they were nearly their home and broken pipes began to look familiar their pace quickened. They found within them some gut drive to keep moving, it was close. They could taste it.

Suddenly Mikey froze, his eyes looking down a sewer run off. The remaining pair paused and looked from him then into the darkness he now peered.

Donnie spoke for the first time in what felt like days.

"What is it, Mikey?"

"I- I thought I saw something."

"Where?" Raphael's gruff tones entered into the conversation.

Mikey raised his hand and pointed but there was nothing to see in the looming darkness. Something in the shadows caused them all to shiver. After a moment longer and a gentle nudge from Raphael they began to move forward.

Mikey's eyes kept looking back at the looming darkness. As if it threatened to drown him in it. So busy was he watching his back that he did not see the piece of rubbish on the ground, which had washed up when rain flooded the sewers.

He stumbled forward and went shoulder first into the ground.

He screamed.

A sound which tore his dry throat in two. His hand clinched over the cold metal which sealed the spot where his arm once was. As the agony slowly subsided he noticed his brothers had not come. For one horrid, terrifying second he thought it all another of Bishop's plan. Perhaps he had never been free at all.

After all in his dream, they hadn't come. They had been gone. He was alone…He is alone. His eyes still shut against the pain threatened to leak the moisture behind them. A panic that was soaring to life was deflated with a single touch of a warm hand on his face.

They hadn't left him. They were still there. He remained on his knees doubled over as he was able to slowly push the pain from his mind. When it had subsided he carefully opened his eyes and looked forward.

In front of him stood Raphael and Donnie, looking nearly teal and wide eyed.

Wait, … If they were there, then who was…

He felt the fear again threaten to consume him, a shutter shook his tense frame until…

"Quiet, my son. You are safe."

The most gentle tones he had ever been grateful to hear.

He spun, probably faster than he should have. Yep… dizziness…shouldn't have done that. But at that moment he could care less. His sensei, his father was kneeling beside him. A quiet but pained look on his old features.

Though they had only been gone for a few weeks, his master seemed to have aged years. The grey along his muzzle had spread and his eyes seemed to lack some of their strength. He felt the warm hand on his face, and noticed the smallest of tremor to it.

The old rat smiled softly before lifting his gaze to the two of his sons who were present, but unmoving.

He held out his hand to them.

He had always done that. To beckon them to an embrace as children, or a sparring match as teens. It was a simple gesture but one so wholly of their father that it broke the two from their fearful starring and sent them to his side.

Donnie hit his knees and threw his arms around his sensei and less than a moment later Raphael joined in. Forget pride…it had no place in moments such as these.

Even though their lair was a few yards away, containing their beds and other things of importance. In that drainage pipe, amid the bugs and the music of dripping waters, they had found it.

Home.

A/N Yes I know it's short and I'm sorry for it but that just seemed like such a perfect place to end it. I actually got sniffley myself as I wrote it. Thank you so very much for all my wonderful reviews! Its so great to see them! I've never had so many reviews, its so close to 100 that I can taste it. So that's my new goal, my first fic to reach 100 reviews - care to contribute? J Love you all and thanks again!


	14. 6277 Minutes later

Four days…Four days, eight hours and thirty seven minutes.

Since he had last seen them, or rather, heard them.

Four days, eight hours and thirty seven minutes…he had counted them all.

All six thousand, two hundred ,seventy seven minutes of them.

He had been resting against the ever present wall not caring to much about the ache in his limbs from being so cramped, for so long. His eyes felt like they were open, but in the darkness he saw nothing, so he could never be sure. Mikey had just fallen asleep, by the sound of his breathing and that was a blessing.

Each time his brother screamed in his sleep or whimpered in a hunger a part of his heart had died.

He felt a prick in his neck but at first ignored it; thinking it was the sensation when you sit in an odd way for to long. By the time he realized something was wrong he couldn't open his mouth to alert his brothers, he could even scream. His entire ability to move had been removed from him.

He knew Raphael was less than 7 inches to his right yet he lacked the ability to reach for him. To warn him. To grasp at any straws that may lead to his rescue.

He heard them sounding off as a warm hand closed around his throat and began to pull him. He tried to scream, 'I'm not here!!' but his body refused to cooperate. He had been pulled about 3 inches when he fell. He fell thru a hole on the wall just beside him. A wall he was certain had been solid moments before.

He heard his name called.

"Leo."

And again, with a fringe of desperation.

"Leo."

And lastly in panic, he heard Raphael scream.

"LEO!"

Yet his body refused to respond despite his soul pleading for the ability to reassure them. Take him if they had to but let him calm them.

Say be strong to them.

Tell them, he loved them.

Hell…Tell them, goodbye.

The only dent his training allowed him, against that toxin in his blood was to permit the smallest tear to slide down his face.

That had been Four days, eight hours and thirty seven minutes ago.

The image of hell had changed from a dark hole in the earth. Now he found himself in white washed room. It ranked of bleach and stronger stenches. There was a bed, he had not touched. (Aside from waking up on it the first day) A buffet of food supplied by the hour thru a slit in his door or from the nurse. To his shame he had ate desperately at every chance.

He spent his time trying to find an escape route or lost in his meditation trying not to win.

He had seen only one person.

A young woman, would a pleasant smile, a pleasant tone…a pleasant everything.

Even when he screamed and demanded to know of his brothers she could only smile and pat his arm.

"In time."

Was all she would say on the matter before resuming the typical nurse-sque comments about hobbies and recent movies.

Did she not understand the hell he had lived in the last month…months..? He couldn't tell anymore.

He wanted to raise his hand to her , to fight his way free.

He couldn't bring himself to do so, she had not done anything but show him kindness.

She had tended his wounds, saw that he was fed.

But she was apart of this, and that confused him all the more.

He slowly pushed himself to his feet from where he had been sitting on the floor. His joints cursed him but he ignored them.

He had asked questions, he had been civil….his methods weren't working.

He walked over to the bed and the small flower ridden table beside it.

He picked up the largest vase and read the note 'looking better - bishop'.

Bishop.

His lip curled in a sneer.

His eyes moved to the 'mirror', he didn't have to be a ninja to know it was a two way glass. How many hospital rooms had 5 foot mirrors?

His eyes shifted back to the flowers in his right hand.

Ok, his method didn't work…

Lets have ago at Raph's.

He tossed it loosely in his hand once before sending it full force toward the mirror.

It shattered.

Point one for the hothead - now Leo just had to live long enough to thank him.


	15. Murder

**A/N: Ok folks, sorry for the massive delay but I have a really - really - really good reason. I became a MOM! My little man is 4 months old on Monday . So hear goes…**

* * *

**When the glass shattered so did the silence of the room. He went thru the window before all the glass had struck the floor. Directly across from the "mirror" were two men in white jackets. The heels of his feet struck their chests and their hands struck the floor.**

**While he had hated his time in the 'hospital' it had given him one thing he was grateful for. Time to recover. While still not 100%, he had been fed and his wounds tended. More importantly he had the time to move around freely which helped his tired joints loosen.**

**The atmosphere on the other side of the glass was much different than his cheery room. Computers and machines, that he was sure Donnie had never known, beeped away aimlessly. **

**Though, he hardly had time to notice such small details for the reaction of the people in the room.**

**These were scientists, doctors…not warriors. **

**It was made clear by the way they scrambled for cover. **

**He didn't care, he wasn't here to hurt them. He had to find his family. The 'nurse' told him in one of rare moments of speech that his brothers were given their freedom.**

**Forgive him for not simply taking her word.**

**He was out of the room and down the hall, when a shrill alarm sounded.**

**What do you know, a scientist could hit a button. Go him.**

**A few more yards and he ran into the control force. M-I-B-'s are back. He snorted thinking of Mikey's nickname.**

**Mikey.**

**Suddenly there was nothing funny about the situation.**

**There was a time when Leo was noble and restrained…that was before he had watched or worse 'heard' his brothers tortured and tormented with him powerless to stop them.**

**This was -NOT- that time.**

**His fist met jaws with shattering force, removing a tazer from a clumsy attack. **

**With a touch of a button and the tazers help, they fell. It didn't have the satisfaction of hearing their bones crush on contact - but it was for the time effective. **

**He took a blind turn hoping it would lead him to his brothers. **

**Left, then a right.**

**All he found were more goons. **

**But not what he wanted…not WHO he wanted.**

**He skidded to a stop at an unmarked door. Every door in this place had a label, for closets to bathrooms. Something about an unmarked door gave him promise.**

**He curled his fingers around the door and tested it.**

**Locked.**

**Interesting. He heard the approach of more goons and sent his shoulder into the door. Finding sickening pleasure in hearing the door frame groan and crack as it was forced open.**

**He closed it quickly behind him just as the goons rushed past. He was satisfied that, for the time, not followed. He turned and flinched back staring down into the black darkness of a 9mm. **

**Peachy.**

**When his eyes refocused to a distance beyond the barrel of a gun, he saw it's holder.**

**Bishop. **

**His eyes darkened, his pulse raced but he gave nothing away on his face. Both stood waiting for the other to move first.**

**Seconds seemed to stretch out into hours. **

**Leo gave a flick of his wrist and sent the tazer to his right. Bishop spun and Leo took his chance. He grabbed the barrel of the gun tilting it upward. The trigger was pulled but it only wounded the ceiling. His hand vibrated from the shock of the shot, but there was no pain which would equal the loss of his brothers. And likewise, no reason for him to let go of that gun.**

**He swung his leg sweeping Bishops legs from under him. The agent fell and the turtle went with him. Both struggling for a hold on the gun. Bishops skull slammed into Leo's brow ridge. He hadn't expected it and slumped away. **

**With his feet under him Bishop pushed back sending the two into a grabbling match on the floor. Fist and feet were flying at close range, as neither would release the gun. **

**As Leo struggled for his life it all came back to him.**

**Mikey's whimpering at the slightest movements…**

**The silence of Donnie as he finished the water…**

**Raph's quiet fearful panic…**

**They could be dead, all of his family. Gone. He could die right here and never give Splinter so much of a farewell. Never telling his father of how brave 'his boys' were, til the very end. **

**And that was not an option.**

***BANG***

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

**Silence rang out as both lay still, neither sure who had taken the hit. Then there was movement. Bishop slowly pushed himself off of Leo. Once on his feet he laughed looking at the stunned turtle on the ground. **

**But the Turtle's eyes did not meet his own. Instead he was focused on his midsection. Bishops eyes moved down following the others gaze. A steady wet spot was spreading over the composed black of his suit. He quickly covered it with his hand and looked at the turtle.**

"**I'll get you back." He spoke, crisp - deadly as ever watching the turtle.**

"_**We have to get them out of here"**_** Raphael's voice echoed in his mind.**

"**Never."**

**And Leo pulled the trigger until he was drawing on an empty clip and the only sound was the ringing in his ears from the gunshots. Leo slowly stood his eyes on the body… and he was just a body.**

**He didn't feel the pain or hate he would have expected from taking a life. Instead a cold since of validation…of satisfaction. Murder is wrong.. and he knew it, but there was no way. **

**No way.**

**He would allow his brothers to ever have to face this bastard again. **

**There was no shame in his death…it, more than any before it…had been deserved.**

**And Leo, on some level, was glad to be the one to deliver justice.**

**He let the gun clank to the floor before moving out of the room.**

* * *

**Done! And while he was taking a nap! Go me!**

**3 you all sorry for the taking so long!**


	16. Escape

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! 92 Reviews so far! I can't believe it, so close to 100! Maybe these next few chapters will get me there! But even if they don't, thank you for taking the time to read them.

Disclaimer: Don't own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

* * *

Once Bishop was gone-

No, dead.

Once Bishop was dead, finding his way out of the maze of white washed walls and bleach, was easy. He found his way to the roof and took his first breath of clean air.

The air stunk. It smelled of wet leaves and smog. The odor of burned coffee beans lingered stronger when the air came from the north.

It took him several moments to gain his bearings, supporting himself by holding on to the brick support. His body wasn't weak, at least not as weak as it had been. The weakness instead came from his mind, or his heart.

There was something about tasting the air he knew his brothers never would. He sat down heavily on the support he had previously held to. He had searched for more than an hour after killing Bishop. He had searched as long as he could before he risked being taken again by the force which had captured them to begin with.

He had to get back to his father. He owed his brothers that much To tell their father how brave they had stood. How proud he should be. How much they loved him and wanted to return.

He forced himself to his feet. Making himself take note on just where their prison had been located. He moved a few buildings over, across roof tops.

His movements were pained but accomplished.

He turned to look back at their prison.

JOE'S COFFEE SHOP

Best beans in town

No.

He stared in shock, turning to look at the surrounding land marks in detail.

No. Please don't be that cruel.

The pet shop on the corner cinched it.

They had been captured, tortured and … killed, 2 blocks from home.

More of a crowd gathered outside of the shop. He knew they would he out looking for him in force. He did not want to run, to leave his brother's bodies behind. He would come back for them. He made that promise to the night wind.

"I won't leave you, I promise"

His own voice sounded alien to his ears.

He had to make it back, if only to tell their father.

It was on that thought that he moved again into the night, finding the path with experienced feet. He was grateful his body knew the way, because his heart was broken and his mind was else where.

He didn't want to remember his brothers like this. ..

He didn't want to remember Mikey clinging to who ever he could grab in terror or pain. The panic when he found his arm removed. Or worse, the accusation that had come with his arrival. The heart breaking screams would be forever etched into his memory:

"WHERE WERE YOU?!"

"I SCREAMED FOR YOU!

YOU LEFT ME!

WHERE WERE YOU?

I NEEDED YOU!

HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THAT!?"

"I SCREAMED FOR YOU!"

"Mikey, I tried….I swear I did."

Leo spoke as he moved, his eyes fighting to stay focused as exhaustion threatened to over come him. While he had been given time to recover, the few days of decent food could only do so much. The fight and escape had zapped what little reserve he may have gained.

One block from home.

Home.

* * *

TBC

Thanks for reading!


	17. Confession

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews! 92 Reviews so far! I can't believe it, so close to 100! Maybe these next few chapters will get me there! But even if they don't, thank you for taking the time to read them.

Disclaimer: Don't own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

* * *

Home.

He still remembered when Donnie found their new home. Laughing and proud of his discovery. That was his brother, that's how he would remember him. Not the quiet and dejected turtle that came back. He never once told them what happened, and in a way that made it worse.

He could see the man hole cover.

He checked around himself, his body ached but he was too close to stop.

They had never taken Raph, a fact which he was certain did more harm than anything they could have done. The taking of the weaker members of their family, hurting them in countless unknown ways…while leaving the elders alone.

Some brother you are Leo.

He slipped into the sewer in silence.

For a long moment, he froze in the blackness that was once so normal to him. His heart sped and his breathing became uneven. It was too close to that place. His hands fumbled, reaching out for something to help him find his bearings.

His hand closed over a thin pipe.

Pipe, there were no pipes in that cell.

More meaningless discoveries, from a soda bottle to a spider web. But they were things not in that cell and they helped him fumble through the darkness.

The closer he got to him, the closer he was to keeping his promise. To tell their father.

He stopped.

Tell their father?

How on earth could he look his father in the eye and tell him this. What would he say? He felt sick to his stomach, and the weakness he felt spread to his limbs.

He forced himself forward, if only to find the light of their home.

With out his brothers, how could he ever consider that place a home again?

Would his father even permit him to stay?

Did he deserve it, if he were allowed?

He found himself standing in the doorway of the den. Though he never recalled going into their home. It was all there. There were comics and weapons spread to the four corners of the main room.

Just as they had left it.

Comics which would never be read, gadgets never finished.

Because he walked them into a trap and got them killed.

He had no right to be here.

Just then he heard the steady clank, clank of wood on stone. His master descended the stairs and knelt in front of the candles.

Praying?

Meditating?

Who could be sure.

The only thing Leo was sure about, was that after seeing him, there was no way he could leave.

He pushed forward and toward the rat.

Splinter turned and began to rise just as the turtle slumped to his knees in front of him. His hands in fists on the floor as his forehead touched the cold stone.

"Leonardo! Y-"

The rat was cut off by a slur of guilt laden words from his oldest. The normally stoic Leo was sobbing at his fathers feet. Begging forgiveness and damming himself.

The rat stood there in shock. When his boys had come home, he was grateful to have them safe at home. Regardless of what shape they arrived in. Though he had spent the last 2 days reassuring them their missing brother would be alright and it was not their fault, he was not certain.

He had spent his nights in fear of him showing up on his doorstep worse than the others…or not at all.

So to see Leo kneeling and pleading, was a dream come true. He hardly took note of his words, as those old eyes scanned over looking for signs of injury. Only a few nicks and scrapes. Bad sores on his knees and thighs, as they all had from living 'there'.

No one told him more than they were captured, and for the time he did not ask.

Somewhere in Leos pleading he took a breath and finished carefully. Though, just as heartbroken as ever.

"…killed him. Master forgive me. I failed you, I failed them…"

Splinter reached out, his hand covering the top of Leo's head. Leo flinched back at the touch, as though it burned.

How could the rat comfort him. It was his fault, didn't he know? Wasn't he listening? Leo couldn't save them.

Trembling features looked up to meet his master for the first time. The old rat smiled warily then his eyes softened.

Leo couldn't understand why until a voice came from behind him.

"No Leo, You didn't."

* * *

TBC

Like so far?


	18. Reality

A/N: Four chapters in a week, I'm getting a hang on this momma thing. I write - when he naps. It works lol! Thank you so much for the reviews and the congrats on baby ! I'm grateful, as always for thoes who take the time to read and review my little stories. Thanks so much.

Disclaimer: No I don't own TMNT, … Cause then I'd be rich, which I 'm not.

* * *

"No Leo, You didn't."

Leo froze. His eyes still hovering on the old rat's weary features. Splinter had his gaze above Leo's head to the voice which now spoke from behind them.

Leo wasn't sure he remembered how to breathe as he tried to gain the courage to turn around. How? Could he really be there?

No. Don't kid yourself Leo. This must be one elaborate ruse by Bishop. He was taken…his brothers were killed.

He had never really left that dark place.

As what little hope he had gained from the warmth of his Sensei's candles left him, the voice spoke again.

"You did what ya could. We all did."

Leo blinked as Splinter rose and let his hand touch warmly on Leo's trembling shoulder, as he walked past him. The thought of Splinter leaving caused him to shake from the fear long enough to turn.

"Please! Father, stay. "

Splinter turned with a gentle expression clinging to the eyes which held pain at the desperation in his eldest son's voice.

"I'm not leaving you, My Son. I mean only to turn on the light." He offered and waited until Leo slowly relinquished his hold on his arm.

Once free Splinter moved toward the light. All the while Leo's eyes followed him, up the stairs, and past the doorway. He was certain if he blinked all would go back into that darkness.

As his master crossed the threshold his eyes shifted past the turtle which stood there, only halfway noticed in the desperation to keep his master in sight.

Wait.

His eyes slowly moved from the rat to the turtle which stood in the doorway. He was thin, painfully so. Which gave Leo a moment to wonder if he looked the same. He didn't wear a bandana but Leo had never needed such simple things to tell his brothers apart.

Brothers.

He must have been starring because after a moment the other turtle shifted. Seemingly just as unsure of the moment as Leo, who still knelt on the ground by his father's candles. The other took a deep breath and swallowed heavily.

"Hey."

So simple but clean, and very much there. The other started walking towards Leo. His gait was off. He wore his share of sores on his body, from sitting on the concrete for so long. He came to stop beside Leo, hovering for a moment before offering his hand.

Leo wasn't sure how long he had been holding his breath until he reached out for that hand and felt the other tighten his grip in response. That touch, that simple contact, made it clear he was there and Leo exhaled. Only to take another breath in sharply as he rose to his feet.

Nearly eye to eye but not quiet due to the slightest difference in height.

"Raphael?"

His voice was hoarse and uneven to his ears.

They both stood for a long moment until the other gave a tug on Leo's hand and brought him into an embrace.

To hell with the badass premise, he was certain he would never see his big brother again -Alive or otherwise.

At first Leo was stunned, still to afraid to believe it was real. The uneven breathing from his younger brother in his ears, the callused hand on the back of his neck, each element drawing together in some form of reality. He tightened his arms in reply.

In moments such as these one tends to notice the oddest things. Such as the way his younger brother's breathing was uneven, and shaky. From anyone else he would have said he was crying. But not Raph. That's just not how these things worked.

A furred hand on his arm and the brightening of the room reminded Leo of his father's arrival on the scene.

Leo drew back though, not completely withdrawing his arm from around Raph's shell to look at his father.

A sideways glance to Raphael as he noticed a quick swipe of his forearm across his eyes.

"Welcome home my son."

Leo looked back at his father who seemed a little blurry to him. It was only then, he noticed - he was crying too.

* * *

TBC - please read and review!


	19. Old Habits

Disclaimer: Do not own, wish I did.

* * *

Leo allowed his father to direct him wordlessly toward Mikey and Raph's room. It was on the ground level so it had served as the easiest room for them to recover in. It was brightly lit, even though it was well past night in the world above and for that Leo was grateful.

Personally, he wondered if he could ever use the darkness as an ally again?

At the doorway Leo hung back and his father waited for him. That furred paw resting on his forearm, a silent reminder of his presence.

Leo wasn't sure what to expect. The only knowledge he had of his brothers health had come from the fumbled touches and half truths that the darkness had given them.

Raphael still stood behind him his eyes watching Leo like he couldn't believe he was there. When he had woken in the river fighting water, weakness and disorientation as the darkness had nearly reclaimed him…

He shivered, visibly and he felt his father's eyes on him, though Leo's eyes stayed forward.

He doubted he would shake the memory. He had begun to slip back into that froth of the muddy river as unconsciousness took over and that hand closed over his. He had been certain of it - it had to be Leo.

Who else would save the day?

So when he had saw Donnie and they found themselves a band of three… No one dared voice the fear they all felt.

But everyone was certain of it - Leonardo wouldn't abandon them. He was gone.

So to see him standing there.

Granted, he was unbalanced, thin, and worn…

But to see him standing there, alive…

It helped warm the chill he hadn't shaken since they were captured.

Leo hadn't moved from the arch way. He was afraid, and that paired with the thought that he had failed them was enough to keep him where he stood.

Splinter gave him arm a squeeze and Leo jumped looking to him as though he had forgotten he was there.

"Come, you need your rest."

Leo remained where he was and Splinter added gently.

"And your brothers need you"

The gentle nudge to the big brother in him was enough to cause him to move forward.

The room was a organized mess, with their mattress having been stacked against the corners of the room. Though, he noticed by the tilted locations of them, it seemed that someone had moved the mattress closer.

He understood that.

After touch being the only awareness of not being alone, and the sudden loss of a brother because you were not paying attention; Closeness was most important.

Mikey was lying on his back, his arm wasn't bandaged as that steel fixture was still closed over the wound. There had been no need to take away the attachment. It seemed to effectively seal the wound. His head was turned toward the wall and his eyes were glazed at half mast. He was either off in his mind or drugged, either way…he was hardly the jovial Mikey that Leo wanted to remember.

On the other side of the door was Donnie. He was lying on his side, his knees drawn up. They had to sleep in that compact posture or sit up in that hell. Leo wasn't sure if he slept like that out of habit, or …like a child was trying to keep demons away.

His eyes were closed but his brow was furrowed in fret as he slept.

Splinter moved away from Leo and Leo found himself reaching desperately for his father. The rat gave a halting gesture followed by a gentle smile before going to Don.

He would gently rub that paw across his forehead and slowly the lines would smooth into a more comfortable sleep.

Leo's hand still hovered in the air from where he had reached for his father. Raphael came to stand along side him, their shoulders touch. They had taken to sitting like that in -there-. With a little brother on either side, if offered silent comfort both were to tired to verbalize.

Glancing between the beds Leo felt his head drop lower.

How could he have let this happen?

Raphael gave him a gentle tug which nearly caused them both to lose their balance. Once steady he motioned him toward a mattress on the floor. Leo looked at it for a moment before wordlessly pushing it closer to his brothers.

There was so much he wanted to say.

Apologies, and questions…

But he was so tired.

Raphael waited until Leo had sat on the bed before going to his own which was pressed flush against Mikey's. He didn't want to tell their leader that Mikey often woke up screaming for everyone. It was hard to calm and reassure him that all was well and that they were there…when Leo hadn't been.

Leo hadn't known he was staring until his father, now moved from Donnie, would gently ease him back. As his weight was dispersed on the soft mattress, so different from that concrete floor, he began to realize…

While the mattress was soft,

And the incense of his father brought comfort…

They had a long way to go.

Slowly he reached his hand out, seemingly of its on volition, to rest on Donnie's ankle as he began to drift into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

* * *

So so so sorry! This Mommy thing is kicking my tail! But I really am trying to get more chapters, now. Thanks for sticking with me. We got the boys out, now to heal their minds!


	20. Nightmares and Dreams

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them -20 chapters in I'd think you'd figure it out lol!**

* * *

**Splinter rested in silence on the floor where his sons slept. He had allowed his eyes to close and his body rest, though his mind was not yet given that opportunity. **

**His sons needed him, and after months alone - he was happy to oblige. **

**They had slept soundly for a few hours now, even Raphael. His 2nd eldest son had, in previous nights, limited himself to hour long naps by force of will. He understood the desire to protect those he loved. It was that same desire which kept Splinter awake, even now.**

**The quite was shattered when the IV rod which held the medication for Mikey came crashing to the floor. The youngest had jumped in his sleep and his remaining arm had lashed out sending the iron rod to the floor with a furious clatter. **

**The reaction was instantaneous.**

**Mikey had screamed and only flailed worse trying to regain his senses. By doing so he jerked his wounded shoulder and coiled in pain. The movement had pulled the IV from his arm which in the moment of tightness had felt like a restraint causing Mikey to react against it.**

**In the same moment, Raphael had jerked into wakefulness and struggled to pin his brother to keep him still in effort to keep him from doing more damage to himself. **

"**Easy! Take it Easy! Mikey - You're Home!"**

**With the fall and noise of the rod, Donnie had yelped and flinched away before Raphael's raised tones had brought him back into reality. He stumbled his way over to help his brother. Neither he nor Raph had their strength back and it was still easier for him to crawl than rise and walk. He focused on his shoulder keeping it steady. **

**Between the two of them they managed to hold Mikey still as Splinter came to kneel at Mikey's head. Caressing and talking him back into reality. **

**During all this Leonardo had only managed to help by holding his feet down. His eyes, still blurred by slumber and weakness, scanned over Mikey. **

**The perspiration, the panic…the fear.**

**Slowly Mikey stopped struggling and each brother moved back, though only by a few inches.**

"**Ok….I'm…alright." As Mikey spoke none were certain if he said this to convince his brothers, or himself. **

**With his hand free he reached almost obsessively to that barren steel on his shoulder and he closed his eyes again. Each time he had hoped to awaken and find it a dream - and each time it hadn't.**

**He grabbed the steel hook which had been attached over his bed and slowly pulled himself into a sitting position.**

"**I'm Alright." He spoke again, this time a more stable tone. **

**He rested his hand on his knee to keep his balance and looked up for the first time at his brothers. Each of their three faces attentive and concerned.**

"**Relax, I'm alright." He said patting Raph's arm. **

**Wait.**

**Three? **

**Three faces?**

**He looked back to the middle person while Donnie reapplied the IV.**

"**Leo?"**

"**He'll be here Mikey, you know he will. We told you, he's just a little behind us -Remember?" Reassured Donnie with out looking up.**

**For a second Mikey doubted what he saw in front of him. Between the nightmares and the medication he wasn't ever completely sure that he could trust his eyes.**

**So he reached out with his hand letting it come to rest in Leo's outstretched palm.**

**Contact, trembling, solid…contact.**

"**Mikey stay still."**

**Donnie's voice spoke as he fumbled to reapply the IV in the arm which Mikey had reached with.**

"**Leo. " Mikey said still unsure and Leo closed his hand in affirmation of the unsure tone .**

"**LEO!" Mike grinned, out right and honest. He fumbled to get shifted enough to get his good arm around Leo's neck. Leo who was sitting on his calloused shins should have cried out in pain as Mikey's weight was added to his own. But in that moment he could care less.**

**His own arms came around Mikey's shell with just as much need as Mikey had to prove that the other was there. **

**Donnie had finally looked up in frustration when Mikey moved again. What he saw when he looked up caused the IV to fall again. This time slipping through his fingers to fall unheard to the mattress beneath Mikey.**

"**Leo?" He asked his eyes looking around the room. Neither his father nor Raphael seemed surprised. Even after all that he had gone through he tried to keep his brain working. **

"**How long?" He asked Raphael.**

"**He came in last night." Raphael said, unashamedly smiling. **

**Don looked back at Leo, and reached out to touch his arm. Checking, just to be sure, he was not a figment of his imagination.**

**Leo didn't push Mikey away when Don touched his arm, instead he simply pulled him in as well.**

**Raphael sat back on his mattress to exhausted to join the huddle but not to tired to smile.**

**Splinter had risen and left the room during Mikey's realization and now stood in silent admiration of the image that was now before him.**

"**My sons." **

**Each looked up when he called, though none pulled completely away from the other.**

**The rat held a tray in his hand of soup and water, he simply lifted it in silent offering . Leo urged Mikey back down to the bed while he and Don came to join Raphael and sit on his mattress. It was so much more giving than the concrete floor.**

**Splinter saw that each had soup and water before standing back to fully illuminate the room. He could tell none would return to sleep. He noted that not once had they mentioned what had happened, or who had done this. As of yet Splinter had not forced them to disclose this information. Yet, he knew…as any parent does, they must face their horrors to fully heal.**

**Perhaps not yet, but soon. **

**Seeing them together again, for the first time since he had found them in the sewer beaten and broken….he was sure of it.**

**They now had a fighting chance, to heal.**

**Together, it may just be possible.**

**YAY for napping children! Two chapters in 24 hours! Go me! LOL Thanks for reading all! ( Reposting this chapter. I have no idea what was with the underlined text, so sorry if you had to read that, also fixed some errors I didn't catch. Sorry all! Thanks for reading!)**


	21. The Taboo

Here we go again!

-------------------

Do you know that silence you hear when the power goes out? When you think you know what quiet is until the power goes out and there is nothing. No humming of a fridge, or no nearly soundless florescent lights purring, Not even the ticking of a clock to distract you from your thoughts?

That was how it felt as Mikey lay there counting the cracks in the ceiling above him. He wondered how many times he had counted those since he found himself resting under them nearly 2 weeks ago. He could tell that April had begun to dial down his medication. After all there were no eyes staring back from the cracks now.

He was glad the medication had begun to seep out of his system. He had hoped it would clear his mind and allow him some focus. Which it had…but that focus caused him to focus on things he'd rather forget.

The cold, the stone, the closeness,…the blade.

His hand touched the steel again and in the silence it was nearly audible. Raphael and Leo both slept if only because they couldn't will their bodies to stay awake any longer. Donnie had his back to him and lie facing the wall. Mikey couldn't understand that. Even if he could lay on his side comfortably, he wouldn't face a wall.

Not ever.

Every wall brought back that place.

So alone…

Alone…

…

"So did we die?"

His heart had begun to race as the walls had closed in again and that memory rushed to light. It was shattered by the very clear and very awake question that caused Mikey to startle at best.

Once he trusted himself to speak he kept his eyes defiantly on the ceiling.

"Don't be stupid Don, course not."

Don now turned from the wall to face Mikey.

"Did we die?" He asked again.

"Why would you even ask that?" Mikey's voice was a little higher than normal.

They still hadn't spoken about what had happened, and he was ok with that. He didn't want to rehash it. He just wanted to crawl into bed and read a comic.

Forget it.

It never happened.

The fact he hadn't touched the comics Casey gave him made it pretty clear that wasn't going to happen, but damnit he wanted to try.

Don's eyes were still on him and Mikey swallowed and turned his head completely away from his brother. That's it Mikey, ignore him, and focus on the door.

Maybe he'll go to sleep.

He heard Don shift and thought his brother would be doing just that. That fantasy went poof when he felt his mattress shift as his brother sat down by his feet.

"The way you scream for us for starters…Come on Mike."

He let a hand settle on Mikey's leg.

"Can't you just let it go, Don?"

He asked, sounding far younger than he was.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because if I sit there any longer reciting Poe or trying to rewrite Pythagorean Theorem in my head I'm going to go stir crazy. My brain just shut off in there and now it won't stop. So If I make sense of it then maybe-"

"You can't make bricks with out clay." Mikey muttered cutting off Donnie.

His eyes still on the door were darker. He wanted to help his brother but not if it meant going back there, even figuratively.

"Mike-"

Mikey's eyes closed with a pained look across his features. For a moment Donnie was about to ask if he needed a pain killer before it registered. This was a different kind of pain. Something far harder to heal.

"You were just gone." Mikey's voice was small and his eyes were still closed.

Don stopped to listen, the hand on Mikey's leg squeezed. The silence lingered but Don waited giving Mikey time to figure it out.

"I woke up in bed…

* * *

TBC


	22. Fears, Now Spoken

Thanks for sticking with me, Readers! This story has become my favorite and I am so glad for all the devoted readers which had pestered, bribed and threatened me to write more!

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

"…my bed. Just like the whole…thing, had been a dream. Then I smelled blood."

He paused his eyes still closed and a visible tremor to his body.

"There was a dagger through- right next to my head"

Donnie managed not to question as he watched his brother with furrowed brows.

He waited for several minutes before Mikey managed to speak again.

"Klunk."

He took a breath, yes to some it was just a cat, but he loved that cat.

Donnie nodded quietly and let his hand move from resting to quietly rubbing small circles on his brothers leg. Mikey kept his eyes closed and forced himself to roll onto his good side, it made it easier not to look at Don as he continued.

"I held Klunk for … I don't know how long. At some point I started calling for you all. After a while, I noticed you hadn't come. So I looked."

It seemed calm, simple enough. The strained and forced tone struggled to allow it to seem that way. He didn't say of the hours he searched and screamed or the empty rooms. The way each yell echoed back to him as if taunting him. He didn't tell the way he collapsed with Klunk in the empty den in a panicked mess with no voice, no home, no family…nothing but his fear.

He would have been happy to leave it like that, but Don couldn't.

"What did you find?"

His eyes shut tighter and he turned his face into the crook of his elbow. He knew from the moisture he was crying, but some how that didn't seem so important right now. After the mess he had been, his brothers had seen him far worse.

"Mikey?"

Please, leave it.

"Mike - What did you find?"

Don…don't.

"Where were we?"

Something in Mikey snapped. Aside from the first time he had spoken to them when he was returned, he had said nothing about the way he felt.

Now he had lurched himself up with his remaining arm. Once sitting up he grabbed at Don's plasteron. There was a good spot for a grip since they were all still thin.

"Nothin! Not a damned thing! You had abandoned me! Every last one of you! Didn't leave anything, any proof that I had ever had you! You just left! All of you left! Why did you do it!? Am I not smart enough?! Not brave or noble enough!?"

With each trait he would gesture to either Don or one of his other two brothers.

Both Rapahel and Leo had been awake during most of the exchange but now they gave up their ruse and sat poised on their mattresses. Each looked as though they had been struck but were to pained to move.

"I screamed for you! I screamed until I didn't have a voice, and then I kept screaming! I looked everywhere! I would never abandon you!"

His shouts dissolved into pained gasps as his hand slipped from Don's plastron to fist against Don's chest as he slumped forward. Exhausted and humiliated by his own definition he keened against his brothers chest.

"Why…why would you abandon me?" He whimpered, completely defeated against a dazed Donatello.

"I-I wouldn't Mikey, not ever." Don flustered trying to find anything more that might comfort the glob o' turtle against his chest. He would bring his arms around his shell.

Leo was on his feet by the end of Mikey's tirade and soon at his side. He let his hand rest on the back of his neck.

"None of us would." Leo offered, attentively.

Raphael didn't say anything, he wasn't sure reassuring words were really the ticket. As upset as Mikey was…and justly so, he wasn't entirely sure his little brother even heard the words they said. So instead he just put his hand on his head and gave it a soft rustle before sitting back on his knees watching them.

Splinter stood in the doorway keeping both Casey and April back. He knew they would have to discuss what had happened. Though this may not have been the way he would have expected at least they were talking.

Still, as they huddled around the keening Mikey, Splinter couldn't help but worry all the more. He had expected torment, the physical proof was clear enough. But this mental assault would be much harder to overcome.

Mikey had settled back against the pillows which made sitting up easier. His brothers close around him.

"I feel so stupid that I bought into it." He muttered wiping his face with his forearm in a frustrated way.

"Its not hard to do…" Don offered quietly.

The eyes shifted to the thinker of the group.

"Even when you know its faked you have to try…even if its not real."

Mikey swallowed and nodded.

"You too?"

Don let his eyes drop and gave a simple affirmation of a nod.

"But that's for later, huh? Lets just take a breather."

Mikey wanted to argue with Don and make him say what happened to him, the way Don had done it to him. But after Mikey's bombshell he had a lot to digest and he was very tired.

"Hey, Mikey?"

It was Raphael, as all eyes shifted.

"Hate to ask, but I gotta. Since the door is open and all…what happened to your.."

He gestured to his shoulder.

"I mean why hurt you and not Don, or us?"

Mikey grew quiet in thought for a moment before he smiled. It was a tired smile, but a smile none the less.

"I hit him."

There was a moment of silence before 'atta boy' and ' way to go' came from several in the room. All but Leo who now focused on the stone. How positive would they be when they knew he had taken his life. Everything he was trained to do told him when to stop. When there would be no threat from your opponent…but he hadn't stopped. Given the chance he might have made him suffer longer…but the end result would have been the same.

Some how he just couldn't feel bad about that.

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So sorry again for the wait but I am glad I got a chance to sit down with little one asleep. I really love this story thanks for all who have stuck around and read. Also I have been thinking about getting some fanart done for this story. Any takers?


	23. Please, Be careful!

It had been almost 10 hours since Mikey's fear had come into the light. For all the pain the orange banded turtle's declaration had brought, it had accomplished one thing:

Mikey Slept.

Since he had made it home, Mikey had only slept in exhausted spurts or a drug induced coma. Now he slept soundly curled up with Klunk and the first comic book he had actually read. He had been asleep for almost 7 hours. Most of the house were walking on egg shells to keep it that way.

Raphael had ventured away from Mikey to go into the Dojo. He didn't have enough strength yet to really do much of anything, but the simple familiarity of his training corner, and the touch of his sais, made it a comfort.

Leo and April stayed in their makeshift hospital room ready to wash away the demons should Mikey awaken suddenly. Donnie had followed Splinter down stairs after Mikey had fallen asleep. He had seemed to need to be near his Sensei. He hid it alright at first, or so he thought. Sitting on the den while Splinter watched his soaps. Suddenly wanting some tea when Splinter went into the kitchen.

So here they where.

Splinter stood at the stove tinkering away at a small snack in the making, while waiting on the kettle to steam. Donnie made a show of snooping thru the fridge. Though he couldn't keep from looking over at the kettle. This was dangerous. He was to close to it. Splinter was short and if it steamed, he might be burnt.

Yes, He knew how stupid he sounded. Splinter could more than take care of himself, but…ever since Bishop, he couldn't get the imagine of his father lifeless body beneath his panicked hands out of his mind.

He could see the small beads of froth forming at the mouth of the kettle. It wouldn't be long now. The soft gurgles of bubbling water signaled the boil.

Splinter take it off the stove…

It was to close.

Finally Donnie could stop himself no longer. He lurched forward. Shouldering a startled Splinter to the side. Lifting to old kettle from the stove with a bare hand. He yelped as the searing hot metal singed his hand. Out of reflex he dropped the kettle, only to be caught an inch from the floor on the crook of Splinter's walking stick. He quickly returned the kettle to a cool burner and had already begun examining Donnie's hand, by the time Donnie realized he had dropped it.

A startled Donnie was gently pushed into a chair while Splinter began to dig through the already opened first aid kit.

"Master Splinter, I'm sorry. I-"

What could he say? He felt like an idiot but in that same respect he was terrified to let him out of his sight.

At first Splinter did not respond as he continued to tend to the wound. Once finished and satisfied, that all that could be done , had been done, he looked at Donnine. Who at once dropped his graze when his father looked up and stopped his rambling.

"My Son."

Donnie didn't look up, he was embarrassed. What had he been thinking? A warm had gently touched his cheek. Despite his 'I'm a big bad tough Ninja' facade he found himself leaning against that touch.

Warm, not cold…alive.

"My Son, I am safe. Your brother's are safe. You…are safe."

Donnine focused on that steady warmth..

"And I will see that it stays that way." Came the old Rat's strong words.

Silence stretched between them before a shamed Donnie quietly muttered.

"but you can't."

Splinter paused. No anger in his eyes, only a quiet pain. Inwardly he felt the pain of a father who had failed his children. Having by one form or another allowed this to happen. Naturally he assumed that was the situation his son was touching on.

"I am sorry, My Son. That I was not able to find you sooner."

Donnie was off in his mind and it took a moment for those words to reregister. He looked up sharply. Covering his master's hand with his own.

"No, Sensei. That isn't at all what I meant. You have done so much for us. You kept us safe. When we were in there thoughts of you kept us sane. I just meant…"

…

Splinter let his thumb gently coax out the remainder of the sentence, as it slid softly along Donnie's exposed cheek bones.

Donnie took a deep breath, steeling himself.

"You will die."

Another breath.

" I won't be able to save you… I tried."

He met his father's eyes, expecting all the disapproval in the world.

" I swear I tried!"

All he found in those dark brown eyes, which had watched him grow, were tears.

Silent and simple he found himself in his father's arms. A soft Japanese's tune hummed in his ear. A song of comfort he had grown up by. Amid the soft tune of childhood memories he heard something else. As he clung to his father like a scared child, steady and strong he heard it.

His father's heartbeat.


End file.
